The conversation..

Avoiding him, The Dr. I skate around the side of his nurse and slide into the waiting room..Yeah, They have to figure out where I've gone First..I've wrung..MRI-Check, Cardio Workup-Check and Freaking CHECK..Blood Samples -Grrr Check..Check...Check..Check...I'm a pin cushion..Help..
One more cardio some sort of test(shrugging) and a psychological overview evaluation(NO, I'm still NOT Completely Crazy..Yet) I do Jest..have slinkies, will travel, be tested, be annoyed and in general wonder why in the world The doc and I tolerate each other any further..Sigh..

Dr: Overall, good. You know I'm not pleased with your weight gain..

Me: Yeah, and I am..
(we look tentatively at one another as if waiting for battle)

Dr: Your still smoking too. I don't like that..

Me: I don't like that you wife gets more time with you than I do.. Really now..(Yeah, I'm smirking hard core On the inside..Baiting him). Drop it, I'm not quitting right now.

Dr: I'm serious. Why can't you be serious about this..This, this, sudden amount of weight gain worries me..I think we (what he's gonna answer the question too? NO)(Mouse in his pocket I'm assuming) need to round up this psych evaluation first and foremost.

Me: Yeah, your right..My brain blows up, you shove a bunch of slinkies in it, and My body is suppose to play nice with me all of sudden 6 years later? Share whatever your smoking hun..

Dr: (Chuckles) So do I tell my wife, I'll be late for dinner tonight?

Me: Of course..Your doing the rest of these evaluations with me..Mr. M.D. Freaking Sport..

Dr:(chuckles again) No one would ever know, if they didn't have your history in front of them..Your very balanced emotionally, psychologically, I think..Hows the personal life? good right..

Me: Sure, I'm laid off from a company that's more than likely going to be shut down by Chase The Great emporium, and working for $5.00-$8. less per hour at whatever I can to make some sort of income..I've been celibate for 2 years.I'm super ornery. I expect the next serious relationship I'll have in life will be with YOU or Bob(built in Boyfriend)..Now unless you know of someone that's going to be tolerant of my neurological malfunction and the fact that I'm a middle aged, overweight and just plain intolerant of bs, I think you'll suffice..(smiling very broadly at him)

Dr: (Outright looks at me and burst out laughing)..Do you think you could be a little more cynical?

Me: Of course I can, keep prodding and poking me with another needle and your wife she will never have to worry about the future of children with you..

Dr: Yeah, your fine psychologically..A tad bent in the wrong direction, but over all good. Pretty normal I'd say.(And he's what, trusting his own Advisement..hmmmm K) Go have a seat in my office slinkie girl..I'll have you out of here soon..Before you go. I want 25 lbs off by July. The other 20 we'll discuss once you hit that point..We're not going to discuss this, its my way now..Double the exercises..2-3 hours a day. If your not getting results in the next 30 days, call me..We can do a few more test to see if we can't fix your happy misfunctioning body. Don't call my wife, she doesn't need to know about our love affair honey. (smiling this huge wicked smile).To my office, behave..you can use my laptop. NO phone calls..(yeah he knows me) Long distant calls to whoever..If your going to make me wait an hour, I'm going to entertain myself.

Give me permission to use your laptop and THIS is what I do. Blog my frustration..I do love this man..He just rocks. 5'6" 150(80 lbs too thin) wiry, highly intelligent, funny, sarcastic and plays nice with me..yeah It's long term love..((SMILE))..A smile to die for..Blatant Eye flirting..God I love men!

Sigh..let the waiting continue..But I did get a cup of coffee from the nurse..Apparently she wants to live today..Caffeine withdrawal is not a good thing.